Jude's Birth

Jude is now one week old and he's a good little boy. Here is how he came to us.

I woke up on November 19 around 7 am. My first sensation was that I was a little damp. I laid there for a minute or two trying to figure that out. I thought, "What is this... am I peeing?" After investigating I found a softball-sized wet spot on the sheet. I heard Jono getting ready to leave for work so I called his name. "Jono. Come here a minute. I'm wet." He came into the bedroom wide-eyed. "I think maybe my water broke," I said. My doctor had told me that one way to tell if you're leaking amniotic fluid is by its smell. It smelled sweet, which is how she had described it. I had also heard that some women gush when their water breaks and others trickle. Apparently I was a trickler.

We started getting excited and decided we should call the doctor in an hour if contractions hadn't started. Meanwhile we started packing our bags for the hospital. I felt very calm while this was happening, not wanting to jump ahead of myself. Maybe today was the day and maybe it wasn't -- I didn't know. At 8:30 I called the doctor's office and told the nurse what I thought had happened. She told us to come in at 10:00 so they could check me out.

We took the dog for a walk, packed the car, drove to Joel and Jessie's to drop off a key to our house so they could pick up Mona later, and stopped at The Schnitz for breakfast. We weren't in a huge hurry. Still no contractions.

By the time we arrived at the doctor's office, I noticed my trickle was turning into more of a gush. On the examining table the doctor knew my water had broke before she tested the fluid, but she held up the little blue strip of paper for me that confirmed it. She asked if we had our bags ready for a hospital stay and told us we should head in that direction.

We drove down to St. Mary's and headed to the ninth floor. They checked us in to a labor and delivery room at around 11 am. I put on one of those super-attractive hospital mu-mus and socks with the grippies on the bottom.

Then we waited.

We were told that if I didn't go into labor soon they would have to induce me because of the risk of infection. Once your water breaks the only barrier between your baby and the outside world has been removed. I was nervous about this possibility because it would increase my chances of having to take pain medication. Induction of labor makes contractions come fast and intense.

A nurse suggested I get into the whirlpool tub to try and get things going. I did, but half an hour later there was still nothing. We did a few laps in the hallways. By early afternoon my mom showed up and we sat around talking for awhile. They hooked me up to a machine that would monitor both my contractions and the baby's heartbeat. I was having small contractions once in awhile, but nothing to write home about. They were sporadic and I could easily carry on a conversation right through them. They told me my doctor had contacted someone who could administer Pitocin, a labor-inducing drug.

By mid-afternoon my dad came and the four of us sat around while the nurses went in and out checking my progress. My parents went to the cafeteria around 5pm to get Jono something to eat. While they were gone a contraction came that I actually needed to breathe deeply through. When my parents came back with Jono's food they said I had a look on my face that told them what was happening, so they headed to the waiting room. Jono's parents showed up soon after that and joined them there. They ended up spending a very long time in that little room and got into some shenanigans to keep themselves entertained (including disappearing from the room while my mom was in the bathroom so she would think the baby had been born and they'd left her behind. I'm told the look on her face was priceless.)

Meanwhile my contractions became stronger and more regular. For the next few hours I breathed through them and tried different labor positions while Jono rubbed my back and held my hand. I was back in the whirlpool once, on and off the bed, and I sat on the "birthing ball" for awhile. This stage is already foggy for me because of what came later.

At one point they came in to check my cervix and after hours of labor I was only 3-4 cm dilated. In came the on-call doctor. He said if I hadn't dilated further in the next 45 minutes they "strongly recommended" I be induced. We agreed because of the infection risk if labor took too long, and also I was already getting tired from the contractions and couldn't imagine having to go all night with them. About an hour later they checked me again and I'd gotten to 6/7 cm. My nurse and the doctor looked happy - I wouldn't need the Pitocin.

By now I was mainly focused on getting through contractions and didn't care who came in the room or what they were saying. I hardly had time to listen to a string of sentences from someone before another one would come. The breathing techniques were still helping and Jono was feeding me ice chips, but there were a few in there that I was pretty much whimpering through. I asked my nurse, "I don't want to commit to anything and I don't want an epidural, but do you having anything to take the edge off?" She explained my options, saying that both drugs would also go to the baby and make him lethargic. In childbirth class we learned that a lethargic baby is often given another drug after birth - a stimulant to help wake him up. I didn't like that in his last moments in the womb and first moments in the world he would be pumped up with drugs, so I decided not to take them.

Shortly after that a big whopping contraction took hold of me and I started having thoughts like, "Okay, who in their right MIND does this without an epidural?!" But I'd made my decision and wasn't going back on it. Plus labor was progressing so fast now that I doubt they would've had time to give me anything.

I'd confined myself to the bed at this point because I needed to lie down and rest between each contraction. When one would come I would turn on my side and hold on for dear life to the side-rail on the bed. I remember going into a trance between them. I was having strange dream-like thoughts, like wishing I was everyone else in the room. I thought, "I know that nurse has crappy hours and has to work the night shift, but I'd give anything to just be her right now." Even before the pushing phase started I was exhausted. I kept my eyes closed because it helped me focus. When I'd feel one start to build I would grab Jono's hand, arm or neck and hold on tight. The ice chips were fantastic - the crunching sensation plus the cold liquid going down my throat were a huge relief. Jono had a cup full of them in his hand and he would spoon-feed me a cube immediately after a contraction would pass. Jono was such a good birthing coach. He kept telling me that I could do it, I was doing great, and I was his hero. He let me pull his hair.

Eventually, of course, I felt like pushing. I told my nurse and she and my doctor came in with the delivery table. Then the show really started. I was relieved to be able to push because it helped lessen the pressure from the contraction. They say the pushing phase is two steps forward, one step back, which gets discouraging when you feel like you're pushing your insides out. Which you are.

An hour later he still wasn't out. I would push and the doctor and nurse would say, "Good, good, good! That's exactly it!" But then he wouldn't come out. The pressure in my pelvis was enormous, and it was now accompanied by a strong burning sensation. I was feeling like it would never happen. I was convinced they would have to do an emergency c-section or get him out with forceps. I wondered what they would have to do to me if he just didn't come out... ever.

We decided to try the squatting bar, so they brought it in and put it over the bed. I used it through the next couple of contractions, but it took too much of my energy to get up each time to grab the bar and then lie back down again once it has passed. The doctor suggested I brace my legs on the bar instead. This helped, but still wasn't enough. Then my nurse, God bless her, said she had an idea that had worked for a lot of women. She grabbed a towel and stood at the end of the bed. When my next contraction came I braced my legs on the bar and grabbed the other end. The nurse and I then played tug-of-war with the towel while I pushed. I could tell this was working and I felt slightly encouraged. They told me they could see his head and asked if I wanted to touch it. I reached down half-heartedly. I was glad his head was there, but until it came all the way out I wasn't going to count on anything.

The pinnacle moment (pain-wise) came when he crowned during one contraction, but then it faded off before I could get him out. I was beside myself. Jono told me later I was thrashing on the bed and looking at him like, "DO SOMETHING." They told me his hand was up by his face and he was slightly twisted. Jono looked down and saw his little hand before anything else. He started saying "There he is Em, he's almost here!" over and over.

When the final contraction came I remember screaming and pushing with what seemed like the last bit of energy I would ever have for the rest of my life. Jono was giddy, I was in another world. I could tell when his head had come out and then his body. The doctor lifted him up and put him on my stomach. I couldn't believe it. There he was. His eyes were wide open and he was looking at me. It was the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen to have that little baby lifted onto me like that with his almond-shaped eyes wide open and his umbilical cord still attached. I quickly looked between his legs to make sure the ultrasound had been right (I was a little paranoid about this near the end of the pregnancy). Jono cut the cord. I felt like I was coming out of a fog. He cried a little bit and I nursed him for the first time.

The doctor delivered the placenta then and showed it to us. She described what everything was and how it had nourished little Jude. I had thought I would be really grossed out by this but I wasn't at all. She could've been holding up a new puppy and describing it to us instead of a placenta and I would've felt no different about it.

They took him off of my chest to weigh and measure him. Then they wrapped him a blanket, put a little hat on him and gave him back to me. I felt completely energized. I didn't think a second wind was possible after that, but it came. The long-suffering grandparents were invited in from the waiting room. They surrounded the bed and we were blinded by flash photography. It was cute :) They asked what his name was, and I told them. Jude is the first grandchild on all three sides. They all watched as he got his first bath, which he hated.

After awhile the parents went home and they wheeled us down to our post-partum room. It was 2:30 am when we finally went to sleep. We spent the next two days and nights in the hospital and it was wonderful. All of our nurses were great, and I spent the entire time in that big mu-mu. My only concerns were feeding Jude, sleeping and getting up to go to the bathroom. When I finally put some real clothes on to go home in on Saturday it felt very strange, and nice. Jude went home in his little bear suit and his scarf -- the one that matches Daddy's.

Jono is a proud proud papa, and he's been an amazing help to me over the past week. He is vacuuming upstairs as I write this.

Yes, I'm very lucky.